Music Makes Me Feel……

Music

Have you ever listened to a song and it just makes you feel awesome? I mean, when you hear the first notes played you just jump out of a bad mood and really get groovy in your spot? I have a few songs like that and the one that has consistently been that song since it came out is ‘Ain’t Nobody’ by Rufus & Chaka Khan. I mean that song is totally ‘the one’ for me.

It brought me to think about the things that move us. I mean REALLY move us. Do you have something that no matter what mood you’re in it can snap you out of it? Perhaps, not a song but a clip from a movie or a saying that someone special used to say to you? Maybe even a sound that a child used to make or even an adult but it has stuck in your mind as a soothing sound.

Having a ‘go to’ thing is what I am getting at with this input. So many of us have good knowledge of the things that make us tick and really having on hand that little thing that snaps you out of a mood is something to think about. I have my song on my laptop, my ipod and my phone so that I can tap into it whenever I am in a bad mood or feeling stressed. It allows me to have an escape plan for those times.

In past years, when I was younger and not so connected with my self I had no outlet, I really just allowed the bad mood or stress drive me and it never worked out well. I started meditating and doing a regular fitness regimen and found that there was no replacing these things until I connected with my ‘de-stress-go-to-box’. It’s a note on my phone & iPod that reminds me of the songs to play or the meditation to do that will remove this energy from my mind quickly.

I really notice the difference in the last few years since coming up with this de-stress plan. This can even include songs that are empowering, like a song that makes you feel powerful in a time when you aren’t feeling so empowered. I have some righteous songs too. I have some that connect me with my nationality, and I don’t mean songs that are patriotic but more like songs that allow me to connect with that ‘hometown’ feeling. They might not even make sense listening to them that they would do that but it’s OK whatever songs connect you to an energy that you want to tap into, THAT is the key.

This is a small tip, especially for my invisible survivors, but can be quite empowering for everyone. I hope it helps in some way for you to reconnect with the positive energy for you to ignite the sparkle within. Because we all have the fundamental right to sparkle! Have a great day and add your comments, even the songs you like and that inspire wonderful things.

www.lisapattenden.com

Lost? Confused? Disconnected? Feeling Invisible?

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So, do you ever catch yourself thinking while in the middle of a fight with the man you love about him coming rushing back from the heated walk out the door with a rush of passion, apologies and flowers?  I can’t tell you how many time I have had that fantasy but it never happened. Time and time again my husband would have a huge outburst of anger at me about something really ridiculous and walk out on me and disappear for days on end. Sometimes he would come home and stay in the guest bedroom but he would not speak to me for at least 3-4 days.

The times I can count that we had such conflict are more than I can really count, it’s over a couple of dozen times. My husband had me conditioned after a while, conditioned to submit myself to selling out and not standing up for myself. Each time he came back to talk to me he would TELL me what was going to happen and never give a passionate request for forgiveness for his part in the fight.

If I could go over the many times that I found myself apologizing to him for what my part may have been in the dispute I could not tell you the number because it would be over a dozen as well. I can tell you that he apologized to me twice and it was usually when things were so bad that he knew I was done and ready to move on.

So, you might be asking what my point is? Well, it’s these types of things that become hindsight for us. You see, I couldn’t see the issue when I was in it but now that I am removed from the marriage, I can see the manipulation and mental abuse that was going on. Please understand that I don’t regret that I went through it because all of the events that happened in my life made me who I am today. The reason to report this is to ask you, do you see a pattern of yourself slowly allowing a bullying/mentally abusive husband to take away your sparkle? Do you feel very removed from who you were previous to the problems in your relationship?

If you feel that you have lost yourself and you are a very disconnected from who you really are take steps to reconnect with you! So, you might ask, Lisa, what do you suggest? I have a couple of suggestions to get you started.

1. Take a course in NLP, do you know what NLP is? It is a wonderful technique called Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is used by many motivational speakers, like Tony Robbins, NLP is a short term goal-orientated and practical therapeutic approach to problem solving. Whatever problem you have.

2. Get involved in your own personal development. There are so many programs out there for all types and if you can’t find something that fits for you try resources like: www.meetup.com or www.internations.org  These are great places to get connected with like minded people and for little to no money. You just tap in the hobby you might have left while going through life or a group of people in your age group that might want to just go meet up. No matter the subject, you can find one that will fit you.

3. Start journaling. Have you ever kept a journal? Some ideas if you have never done so?  You can write a letter to yourself once a week. Maybe write as if you are talking to your younger self as advice to the future. Another thing is just a reporting of what happened that day. The thing that helped me move forward from my toxic relationship was reviewing things I had written before and realizing that I was consistently having the same issues with my marriage no matter what adjustments I had made to myself or the way I reacted to situations.

4. Invest in yourself!!! Take some time to go on a spa day with a friend. Find a women’s retreat to go on and invest in you! I can’t tell you how much it recharges you to get connected with other women and to really value yourself in that way.

I’ve given you just a few of the tips that I give my clients and you can think of many more, I am sure! If you have some tips, please post them in the comments below. As usual, I want you to go out there and sparkle and shine so make today the day of awesome, and then make all your tomorrows extra awesome to!

www.lisapattenden.com