Here I sit

Sometimes I can be really focused on my message and then I get hit with something out of left field. Being sick, it really isn’t something I enjoy but sometimes it creates a time when I need to relax and be with myself the most. 

I have been thinking a lot about my mother lately. I wonder if it is because of the work I am doing. I think it might be because writing about my vision for this business has really opened up memories from when she was dying and the things we talked about before she was unable to talk. She was a really cool person and that was very defining in the last few months that she was alive.

Yeah, certainly we had our interesting times during her life as you do with your mother but I guess this is the journey we were meant to have. Mom got diagnosed with breast cancer at 64 yrs old and it was quite a shock. I made the time to take leave and went to be with her when she went in for surgery. It seemed like it was diagnosed and then the next day she was having her surgery. I guess it was that part that I don’t remember so well. 

Mom opted for mastectomy with implant after. The surgeons worked together and she had the implant done on the same day. After the surgery she went through the process of having the implant filled and after about 6 weeks I saw her with the implant filled. It looked really odd. It was like she had a water balloon on one side and her natural breast on the other. It was different but then, I kept that to myself as I didn’t want to upset her. She was so pleased with the fact that she had a ‘fake boob’ so I just left my opinion to myself.

A few months later I got a call, she was crying and upset. I calmed her down and finally got out of her that she was horrified with her unbalanced look. She was going through a rough time with it. I took some time and went to see her for a long weekend. We talked about her feelings and the journey she had made when she first got diagnosed. She talked to me about her feeling of not being whole and how she felt she really rushed into her decision to get the implant and regretted not evaluating the surgeons more.

I got a lot from that weekend, we went over the things that created this emotional feeling and we also talked about the way we could adjust her clothes to make her implant not look so imbalanced. We really did a lot of work together and my mother really made a huge leap from being upset and not feeling confident to being really happy and feeling sexy and confident again. Her husband, my step-father, was really pleased with the result. 

I had a great time with my mother and we really made headway with her feeling better about herself. Next  posting I will talk further about my mothers journey and what happened next.